It was a horrible daily ritual. That's it right there. That massive, stinking, belching mass of tin and tires; the school bus. It was a yellow coffin on wheels. Every morning at some ungodly hour of 7:00, we were forced to stand on a street corner and wait for it. I still remember standing and waiting and freezing while we experienced an arctic blast of cold in the winter. The wind would be blowing at gale force but we had to take the school bus. It always seemed to take forever for the blasted thing to arrive. It goes without saying, once the bus came to a stop, nobody got on in a civilized way. Non-stop pushing, shoving, jamming and endless crowding into the yellow monster. The useless commands from the Nazi driver did little to calm the situation. Her cries of "I can't drive if everyone doesn't find a seat!" We were her eighth stop so the bus began to fill up. A young lad such was I, was rail thin and a few of those porkers took up what should have been a two-person bench. Bastards. There were no seat-belts and it was a depressing ride. The summer was the absolute worst. Air conditioning? Forget it! That would be a fantasy. We used to sweat like there was no tomorrow. And, our driver, can't remember her name, but she looked like she just broke loose from prison. Hair up in curlers, package of Kools on the dashboard and she drove like a drunken sailor. We used to call her swivel-eyes because she had the Revlon market corned in makeup. Sheesh, what a sight! It was not uncommon for us to drive over the edge of a curb as we rounded a corner. We were catapulted out of our seats. Oh, the misery. Adding to this sickening experience, these buses had lousy exhaust systems. I could smell the fumes and was getting used to the idea I'd vomit every morning until I turned 15. The Board of Education didn't believe in modernizing these deathtraps. Once, the beast died in traffic. We were stuck for over one hour until another yellow monster came to rescue us. Try sitting in a hot overcrowded bus when it's 90 degrees outside and you've already sweat-ed through your shirt and underwear. To this day, I still feel sorry when I see these little kids standing in 30 degree weather on the corner, waiting to be transported to a place of higher learning. These days if you pick up a kid out of empathy and give them an innocent ride to school, you'll be locked up. A sad fact of life. Would you get into a stranger's car just to get warm?
And finally, to the anonymous school bus driver who made such an impact on our young lives, and I mean that literally, I'm sure I'll see you the next time I go to the dog track. You'll be the one smoking Kools and paying for your bets in loose change.

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